Not the Same
by Failte200
Summary: Kigo, and KimMonique as well.  KimShego share a problem, and some misinterpretations of each other's actions. A oneshot, I'm pretty proud of, actually.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Disney or anything Disney owns, either. Jeez-louise. Do we all really have to say this?

KPKPKPKPKP

Shego tried to maintain an aire of pride and serenity as she walked the distance from the clinic to her motorcycle. The hardest part had been standing there as the nurse filled out her forms and took her credit-card information, something she probably did all day long, every day. How incredible it was that that nurse's world hadn't changed within the last 10 minutes, as Shego's had.

The first thing she'd felt was that it was all Kim's fault, but that quickly passed. It wasn't. It wasn't her own fault either. She and Kim had picked their respective lifestyles by themselves... without fully knowing the consequences, it appeared. And now Shego was paying for it.

She hoped Kim wouldn't have to, as well.

She pulled on her black-and-green helmet to hide her tears. She wished she'd brought the car, instead, so she could just sit in its privacy and cry... another poor choice. Of course, she hadn't expected news like this.

She sat on the bike and thought about the red-haired heroine; thought about her in a new way. Usually, her thoughts were lusty and even slightly perverse, a cascade of images of the girl – and bits of her – that had been burned into her mind over the years. It was such a _shame_ that Kim didn't appear to be the least bit interested in her. She'd dropped enough hints, god knows... and gotten nothing back. It wasn't too surprising. She and that Stoppable boy were always hanging around together. And _he_ probably wasn't trying to kill her – or at least pretend to – half the time.

Well, all the time, really. Every time they met. Such a waste... She lifted the face-shield to wipe her eyes, started the ignition, and drove off, taking her frustration out on the road. As she drove, it occurred to her that she ought to tell Kim the news. Because Kim should... she might... but Shego didn't want to think about it anymore. Plenty of time for that at home.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKP

"I can't _believe_ you watch this stuff!" Kim said, munching the popcorn down next to Monique. "It's just...", she tried to find a word that would be less insulting than "stupid", but none would come, "... _stupid."_

Monique looked over at her out of the corner of her eye, so as not to miss a single moment of the World Wrestling Federation Smackdown. "So is snuggling up to a stuffed animal. You're stupid your way, I'm stupid mine, 'kay?" She did spare the WWF enough time to give Kim a peck on the cheek. Kim set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee-table and stared at her, waiting.

As the black girl continued watching the show, Kim admired her soft brown eyes, the profile of her nose and lips... especially lips...

"Quit staring at me. You'll get your chance, girlfriend" Monique said.

Kim didn't say anything back, she just waited.

When the announcer spouted off the most ridiculous phrase in all of media history: "We'll be right back after these important messages!", Kim swung up and over, straddling the other girl, and locked those lips within her own.

KPKPKPKPKP

Shego stood behind a tree-trunk in the River Park, using her ears and mind alone to form an image of what was on the other side. Kim Possible was jogging down the path a black teenage girl beside her. They were talking in low tones, so she couldn't make out what they were saying. As they passed, she could make out one word: "Monique". That must be her name.

She had wanted to talk to Kim alone, everything had been planned out for that. And now here she was - but not alone. Maybe her company would take off, eventually, Shego thought, so she followed them at a distance. She was rather surprised when they turned off the main path onto a less-traveled one that led down to the river. She could no longer see them through the dense underbrush.

It was evening, and the park was fairly deserted, so Shego picked a tall tree near the new path and started climbing, trying to stay on the side away from where Kim might see. What could she be doing? That path ended at the river... and what was this other girl doing going with her? Cautiously, she peered around the tree-trunk, fifty feet up.

To see Kim and the black girl – Monique – wrapped around each other, their mouths pressed together, their hands roaming lovingly and desperately across each other's bodies. Shego's mouth hung open. Kim? Kim was... Well, OBVIOUSLY she WAS... Shego forced herself to stop watching and resumed her hiding, her eyes still wide. But... but that meant...

Kim WAS Lesbian... Or at least bi-sexual... _She's just not interested in ME!_

Shego's hatred of the world in general, only barely under the surface at the best of times, came to the forefront now. She jumped, flipping and spinning around lower branches, until she hit the ground in a crouch. Then she ran. She ran as fast as she could, and kept it up for an hour, solid. Finally, hitting The Wall, her body devoid of any further fuel, she collapsed on the ground, her mind blessedly empty of any thoughts about the red-headed girl.

KPKPKPKPKP

It took a week to recover. Well, to resume some semblance of recovery, anyway. Still, whenever she'd think of what she'd seen, Kim and that other girl, embracing as SHE wanted to embrace – and be embraced by – Kim, her blood boiled. So she became good at not thinking about it. Still, underneath all that, there was unfinished business. There was something Kim might need to know, and the only person who could tell her was – for real, at last – her devoted enemy.

She let herself in Kim's bedroom window. "Wake up, Kimmie."

Since that didn't work, she kicked at the bed. "Wake UP, Kimmie!"

Kim opened her eyes, wondering what had happened, and where was that green light coming from? In that light, she could see Shego's face standing out like a ghost. It awoke her instantly, and she flew out of the bed, assuming a fighting-stance instinctively. "Shego!"

"Yeah, yeah, 'Shego!' We need to talk, Prince- uh, Kimmie. I'm not here in my official capacity. I just have to tell you something." Shego put out her flames and the room grew dark.

Her little speech hadn't really registered with the other girl yet.

"What are you doing here! Get out of here!" Kim cried, though not loud enough to carry through the house.

Shego sighed and turned her back on Kim. "Look, can we just drop the whole 'heroine/villian' thing, for once? Just for awhile?" she said, and turned to face her again, "This is... woman-to-woman. Ok? We can go back to the way things were in a minute. I'll leave, and we can go back to business-as-usual."

Kim relaxed from her stance, standing up straight, but still as alert as she could force herself to be. It was always a trick, with Shego. Every time. She always had something up her sleeve. "What do you want, then?"

Shego walked back over to the window and looked out at the night. She'd rehearsed what she was going to say, but it just didn't seem right, now. She fished a business-card out of a slit in her suit and looked at it, then she held it out toward Kim, without looking at her. "Take it", the last sentence in her page-long speech, was all she managed to get out.

Kim cautiously – and keeping at arm's length – took the card:

Dr. Elizabeth Parker

Ob/Gyn

Hillcrest Hospital

"What's this?" Kim asked. She looked carefully at the card. There must be a micro-chip or something on it, or maybe it had been dipped in one of Drakken's secret mind-control formulas, or -

"You have an appointment tomorrow. Paid up front. Just go." Shego said simply, fully knowing it wasn't going to be that simple.

Kim thought about it a moment. Then, still watching Shego's back, she said, "You... you think I'd actually go to a doctor – especially THAT kind of doctor – on your recommendation? Do you think I'm stupid, Shego?"

Shego had expected that, but it still cut like a knife to actually hear it. She whirled - "No! Really, I DON'T expect you to go. You'll ask around, you'll see that she's the best... not connected with me or Drakken or any other villains in any way, and STILL you won't go, just because I ASKED you to! I -" But she had to stop talking. The more she talked, the madder she got, and it wasn't what she'd planned. She'd thought she could do this professionally. She was wrong.

Just as Shego had expected Kim's response to the offer, Kim had expected Shego's reaction to her refusal. Really, it meant nothing.

"WHY, Shego, do you want me to go to an Ob/Gyn?"

"Because you... need to be checked out. Might need to be checked out. Maybe not. I don't know. You... may have a problem. I do. I thought you should at least know. I'll be going now" Shego said, glad to be done with it.

As Shego began to climb out, Kim grabbed her by the collar of her cat-suit and pulled her back in. Shego's hands lit up instinctively. "What do you think you're doing, Kim..."

Kim faced her without fear, and inside the radius of her plasma-spewing hands. "What do you mean, 'I do'? What kind of... problem do you have? And what's it got to do with me, anyway?"

The villianess hadn't even realized she'd said "I do". This was not going according to plan AT ALL.

She killed the plasma. This was not going to be a fighting night. That would, doubtless, come later. Shego looked Kim in the eye a long time before answering, her feelings swinging from lust to hate to awe to pity to shame, and then back again. Finally, emotionally exhausted by it, the simplest answer seemed to be best.

"I can't have children" she said flatly.

Kim was doubly shocked by the fact itself, as well by the thought that Shego might have ever WANTED... or even THOUGHT about having a baby. Shego? Come ON... give me a break! After the initial shock died off, she began to realize that despite what she'd thought about the older girl, it seemed to be a Big Deal...

"I'd have never thought -" Kim started.

Shego screamed back, "IT WAS AN _OPTION_! OKAY? IT WAS AN OPTION I USED TO HAVE AND NOW I _DON'T_. GET IT!"

"Okay, okay... Look, I'm sorry" Kim said without thinking. For just that moment, she had seen Shego as a woman in pain, rather than as Shego, her arch-nemesis. Then she returned to her senses, "But what's that got to do with me? Why are you even TELLING me?"

Shego turned around, facing Kim's dresser. She tried to collect her thoughts – the plan was out the window now, she was making it up as she went along. Just to be there in her bedroom was harder than she'd even considered, surrounded by her things, seeing her stupid stuffed-animal on the bed... the whole thing was almost more than she could bear. And now to tell her the final secret she'd been harboring for over a week... for which Kim would hate her – and for good reason – forever... how could she do it? Professionally? She laughed at herself inwardly. Good idea, Shego.

"She – the doctor – she said I'd been kicked a few too many times in the gut. WAY too many, actually, she said."

Kim instantly caught the connection, but only part of it, "I hope you're not trying to blame me for -"

"Oh, shut up, Kimmie" Shego said tiredly, "No I don't blame you. We both choose to do what we do." She turned around to face Kim again, amazed she could do so.

"I gave as good as I got, Kimmie."

Kim thought about that. A look of horror slowly crept into her face. "Get out", she said.

Shego left unhindered, this time.


	2. Chapter 2

Kim thought about that. A look of horror slowly crept into her face. "Get out", she said.

Shego left unhindered, this time.

Shego was hiding behind a mini-van in the clinic parking-lot, waiting to see if Kim would show up or not. When she saw her car drive in, and the mane of red-hair pop out of it, she hid herself behind the corner of the van again, because she didn't want Kim to know she was there. When she'd judged that the other girl should be walking away, she poked her head out again, to find Kim standing in front of her car, carefully looking around.

Looking for her, no doubt.

Every instinct that had worked for Shego as a thief, ever fiber of her being, told her to hide again.

But for some reason she would never be able to figure out, even years later, she stepped out from behind the van instead, putting herself completely in Kim's view. When the red-head turned around, she saw her instantly, and they stared at each other for fully a minute. Shego wondered if she should wave... or say "good luck"... or SOMEthing, but what could she say? Everything she could do was either trite or out-of-place or just rude, so the two girls just stood there, on opposing sides of the parking-lot, staring at each other. Finally, Kim turned to go inside, and the spell was broken.

When she came back out, two hours later, she didn't really give a damn whether Shego was still watching or not.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

That night, Kim went for a walk in the park, by herself. She stopped on a foot-bridge over the duck-pond, looking down into the black water at her reflection in the quarter-full moonlight. She didn't hear Shego coming up behind her, but she could feel it, just the same.

"Ahem" Shego pretended to clear her throat.

"I already know you're there, Shego" Kim said matter-of-factly, but without malice.

Not knowing what else to do, not even really sure why she had presented herself at all – the results of Kim's visit to the clinic were obvious – Shego eventually joined her at the railing. They stared off at the ducks with their heads buried in their backs on the shore.

Without knowing she was going to say something, a thought in Shego's mind voiced itself, "I'd take 'em all back if I could, Kimmie."

"I know" Kim said simply, still watching the sleeping ducks. She sighed deeply. "Just to let you know, my womb's okay – barely – but my tubes are shot." She wasn't really sure why she was telling her this. What did it matter?

"Kind of the opposite of me" the other girl replied quietly.

They remained silent for a long time, each girl absorbed in her own thoughts, about her own problems. Finally, have had enough self-pity for one evening, Kim turned to look at her arch-nemesis.

"Well, I guess there's no use changing anything now. Got any new plans for world-domination I should know about?" It was an attempt to be flippant, but it didn't work. Shego had been thinking about the question of "what to do now" for longer than Kim had.

"As a matter of fact, I quit. I'm just... my heart's not in it anymore. I don't think I could bring myself to fight you again, and that was the best part of -" she cut herself off abruptly, having said more than she'd meant to.

But to her surprise, all Kim said was, "Yeah. Me too." She wasn't really listening to Shego, too absorbed in her own thoughts. Going back to "business-as-usual" just seemed too sadly dreary, now.

"Anyway," Shego went on, still a little surprised but relieved at the same time, "I was thinking of starting over somewhere else. Siberia. The Gobi desert. Someplace... uh -"

"Barren" Kim suggested.

They were on the same wave. What they didn't know was that they always had been.

"Yeah. I guess you could say that..." Shego sounded dejected.

"Not going to be much worth stealing, in places like that."

"Actually, I was thinking of becoming a good guy. Not 'saving the world' but... running off bandits. Finding people's lost llamas. Little stuff. Build up some karma."

Kim didn't say anything as it sunk in. Shego was going to leave? It had been Shego who had ignited the fire within Kim, it was her unfulfilled desire for Shego that had turned her to Monique in the first place... The villain's teasing had struck a nerve, and now she was going to leave? And be a good guy? Now?

But Shego was saying too much, exposing too much of herself, and she didn't know why. In desperation, she lashed out:

"So, how's it going with Monique?" she asked snidely. If there was one thing Shego excelled at above everyone else on the planet, it was hiding her feelings from others.

Kim was shocked, and couldn't speak for several moments. How much did she know? And why, really, did it matter? After all, Shego was leaving anyway. She wouldn't be using Monique as ammunition to embarrass her, or expose her, or even just generally be mean, from Siberia...

"Monique is none of your business" she said. She knew it wouldn't end there. Shego would have to get in at least a few taunts.

"Yeah. You're right. Anyway, congratulations. She's seriously sexy" Shego said, changing her mind and wishing she hadn't brought it up in the first place.

THAT was not what Kim had been expecting.

Needing to stall for time - to think things out - Kim explained her relationship with Monique, "Monique is just my... I mean, we're not a 'couple'. We're just... CONVIENENT for each other, is all." Why was she saying this? And what did Shego mean when she'd said Monique was "sexy"? And HOW did she even know about Monique, anyway? It was her deepest secret. NO ONE knew...

"YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON ME!" Kim cried, grabbing Shego by the shoulders to face her squarely. "WHY!"

Unbeknownst to Kim, the pieces of the puzzle were lining up like dominoes... ten thousand dominoes, waiting for the first one to be pushed over. The tension in the air was becoming electric.

Shego thought about how to answer the question. Sun Tzu – Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. She could say that. Or, she could tell her the truth. No, she couldn't do that...

"SHEGO! WHY!" Kim screamed again. She felt violated, she wanted an explanation.

Shego remained silent, staring into Kim's emerald-clear eyes, her forehead wrinkling as she fought to keep the truth to herself. Finally, Kim broke off her stare, beaten. She let go of Shego's shoulders and began to turn away, saying, "It doesn't matter. Good bye, Shego."

Shego's heart finally broke, hearing those three words. "Because I love you" she said softly.

Kim froze. The first domino fell with an almost audible "click".

But Shego, free of Kim's hands now, turned away too. Her heart was bare, fluttering in the breeze, and she couldn't stand it. Once her back was turned, she said, "I wish... I wish things could have been different, between us..."

Click.

Kim stammered, "The... the insults..."

Click.

"The... all those dirty taunts..."

Click.

"All those times you'd make fun of me if I even so much as glanced at you..."

Click-Click.

"... the.. the times you'd be stealing something, and you'd set off just ONE silent alarm..."

ClicketyClicketyClicketyClickety...

Kim's arms stretched out to spin Shego around, embracing her at the same time. She pounced on her lips, the dominoes still falling. Neither of them would ever be able to say how long the kiss lasted... it might have been minutes, it might have been days. There was no way to tell. It was magic, and time ceased to have any relevance. Their mouths wandered over each other's necks and cheeks, ears, eyes, hair. It seemed important to both of them – although they weren't thinking it – for at least one of them to have her mouth on SOME part of the other at all times, lest the spell be broken.

But Kim had a burning question, and eventually it could no longer wait. Knowing she would be ruining the moment, she pulled away, panting, gazing directly into the eyes that so perfectly matched her own. "You won't leave me, will you?"

But the magic didn't stop then, as she'd been so sure it would. The feeling remained.

Shego knew her answer would end it... end everything. She couldn't stay. She was too badly wanted by too many people, organizations, governments... she had to go.

"I have to go, Kim. I have to..." then, a new thought: "Come with me? Please?"

And still, the magic remained unbroken.

KPKPKPKPKP

No one knew their real names. On the Russian steppe, the locals called them by a name that translated to "Fire and Grass". All along the Silk Road, residents and caravans whispered about "Emerald and Ruby". In Korea, it was "Blood and Jade", and along the Chinese coastal cities and plains, they were called "Sunrise and Ocean".

But in the legends, the rumors, and even in the few eye-witness accounts, there was always one common thread: they always appeared together.

The legends said there was magic between them.


End file.
